Saturday, December 19, 2009

He's Touching Me!

Today I've had the 3 boys home by myself.  I know, I'm their mom.  It's my job.  But it was a somewhat difficult day.  Hubby wasn't here, it's cold outside, and everyone was in a grumpy mood.  At one point I yelled at them to just not touch each other.  Next thing I knew, one of them was saying "He's touching me because he's touching the couch, that is touching the floor, that is touching my chair, that is touching me!"  There are days that I think I can't win.
Will I ever get caught up on the laundry?
Will I ever get caught up on the dishes?
The dining room table has needed to be cleared off since before Thanksgiving.  What am I going to do with all that crap?
What the hell am I going to make for dinner?
Will I be able to teach these kids to love and respect others?  I've obviously failed at teaching them to love each other.
How are they ever going to be able to navigate this big scary world?  I want to be a good example for them, but I'm not perfect.  I get frustrated and lose my temper.  I yell more often than I wish I did.  But I don't pick up the nearest toy and throw it when I'm frustrated.  I don't hit back, or kick back, or pinch back.  How do I get them to understand that they can't do that?  Why would a kid think it's OK to be mean to his own brother?  Especially when that brother is younger and smaller?
How do any of us grow into responsible adults?
It's really a big responsibility - to raise kids.  And sometimes I wish I was doing a better job.
But I'm trying my best every day.  Hopefully, something is getting through.  My youngest got a "gold slip" every day last week for being generous at school.  My oldest has been volunteering his time helping  at the adoption days for a local dog rescue.  The middle kid is my most empathetic, and is the kindest to his brothers when he's not being mean.

You may be wondering why I'm thinking about this at 10:25 on a Saturday night.  Well, I was just over visiting The Mother Load  and found her description of life as a mom so true.  At least my hair was clean today.

Thanks for stopping by.


McGillicutty said...

I saw her post too and it touched a nerve.. as yours has.
Hang in there you're doing a great job, you can't be responsible for their every move, you're there to guide them not control them. I have no idea what to do with boys having only girls but I'm sure the principles are the same. When things get rough I sent them outside or to their own rooms... I also find giving them a "chore" to do will help focus their attention away from beating the crap out of each other!!! go drink some wine now and happy days!!!

otin said...

Everything works itself out. Brothers will always fight and bicker. The older child will always dominate the younger child.....until one day! The little child will get big and everything will even out and the older child will realize that he is no longer king of the hill. You cannot teach boys not to fight!!!

Brian Miller said...

after being trapped in the house the last 2 wife asked if hitting each other was a male bonding ritual...of course it is...but we need to escape before we go

rxBambi said...

xanax... not only for OTHER sisters

Erin said...

I love this post. Thanks for the shout-out!

I yell a lot, too. I feel so badly about it, but I get so dang mad sometimes. I hope I'm not wrecking my kids for life.

Most of my earliest memories start when I was 5 or so, so I'm thinking they will forget the worst of this. LOL!

(and yes, at least your hair was clean!! LOL!!)

julochka said...

i've only got the one kid and i feel this way some days.

i think we've gotten to a point in our society where we place so much pressure on ourselves to have every second of our time with our kids be so-called quality time. it places enormous pressure because let's face it, sometimes kids are really friggin' annoying and they make you want to scream. and if you hold that all in, that's not good for anyone.

kids have to learn to be well-balanced individuals, which means seeing examples of bad moods as well as good ones. you can't appreciate the good days without some bad.

anyway, that was my rather long-winded two cents' worth.

don't worry about, i'm sure that by and large, you're doing an awesome job. and sometimes they really should just stop touching each other and see how quiet they can be...